October 29, 2012

{Memoir Monday} Joshua’s Philosophical Questions

Joshua’s Philosophical Questions and Quotes (Ages 2-13) 
By Sue Peiser

Age 2-4 
• How was I born?
• What is a sperm donor?
• Will you read me, “Curious George Gets a Job” at bedtime?
• Can I always live with you?
• I’m scared of hats.
• (Reading off of graffiti on a garage). Mom, what does F-U-C-K spell?

Age 5-6 
• Does it offend you if I sometimes tell people that I only have one mom instead of two?
• Why did you and Mami B split up?
• Why can’t I know the reasons why you and Mami B split up?
• Why do you answer everything except the reasons for why you and Mami B split up?
• Will we ever have vacations with the three of us again or will I have to sit on the airplane next to one mom and a stranger on the other side?
• Will we ever all have dinner again together?
• Will I have toys in both of my houses?

Age 7-8 
• When I have babies, will you change their diapers?
• Why is my math teacher so mean to me?
• What should I tell my friends who want to know how two women can have a baby?
• Is it OK if I tell my friends they should just look it up?

Age 10-11 
• I’ll never date a woman who would prefer camping to a nice hotel. We just wouldn’t have enough in common.
• Can you please stop standing in my doorway?
• Your outfit looks fine.

Age 13 
• I don’t think letting your hair go grey will be the spiritually enlightening experience you’re hoping for. You’re just going to look…......old.
• Dating a Jewish woman won’t be a good idea. You’ll be too much alike.
• Thanks for making me feel so welcome when I came home from camp.
• They will like your couscous salad at the potluck. You definitely have made it enough times.
• Yes, we stayed too long at the party. It takes you forever to say good-bye.
• Mom, please don’t sing “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes you Stronger” when my friends are in the car. You aren’t exactly Kelly Clarkson.
• Can we go to 7-11 for a Slurpee?

Sue Peiser is exceptionally grateful to be Joshua’s mom. She works at a community mental health agency. She and her son are members of a progressive Jewish synagogue. She was recently appointed as Gay and Lesbian Family Liaison at her son’s school. Weekly Zumba class promotes energy for her daily writing.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Anonymous. That comment hits the spot! ~~Sue

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  2. I LOVE this and plan to do it with my just-turned 6 year old. I'm in the throes of a divorce so I've already gotten similar questions but there are some priceless ones in there as well. Thank you, thank you for posting this!!!!