{Memoir Monday} Joshua’s Philosophical Questions

Joshua’s Philosophical Questions and Quotes (Ages 2-13) 
By Sue Peiser

Age 2-4 
• How was I born?
• What is a sperm donor?
• Will you read me, “Curious George Gets a Job” at bedtime?
• Can I always live with you?
• I’m scared of hats.
• (Reading off of graffiti on a garage). Mom, what does F-U-C-K spell?

Age 5-6 
• Does it offend you if I sometimes tell people that I only have one mom instead of two?
• Why did you and Mami B split up?
• Why can’t I know the reasons why you and Mami B split up?
• Why do you answer everything except the reasons for why you and Mami B split up?
• Will we ever have vacations with the three of us again or will I have to sit on the airplane next to one mom and a stranger on the other side?
• Will we ever all have dinner again together?
• Will I have toys in both of my houses?

Age 7-8 
• When I have babies, will you change their diapers?
• Why is my math teacher so mean to me?
• What should I tell my friends who want to know how two women can have a baby?
• Is it OK if I tell my friends they should just look it up?

Age 10-11 
• I’ll never date a woman who would prefer camping to a nice hotel. We just wouldn’t have enough in common.
• Can you please stop standing in my doorway?
• Your outfit looks fine.

Age 13 
• I don’t think letting your hair go grey will be the spiritually enlightening experience you’re hoping for. You’re just going to look…......old.
• Dating a Jewish woman won’t be a good idea. You’ll be too much alike.
• Thanks for making me feel so welcome when I came home from camp.
• They will like your couscous salad at the potluck. You definitely have made it enough times.
• Yes, we stayed too long at the party. It takes you forever to say good-bye.
• Mom, please don’t sing “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes you Stronger” when my friends are in the car. You aren’t exactly Kelly Clarkson.
• Can we go to 7-11 for a Slurpee?


Sue Peiser is exceptionally grateful to be Joshua’s mom. She works at a community mental health agency. She and her son are members of a progressive Jewish synagogue. She was recently appointed as Gay and Lesbian Family Liaison at her son’s school. Weekly Zumba class promotes energy for her daily writing.